Friars Beach Bars to Relocate

The popular beach bars along South Friars have been given until the end of February to leave. Fortunately one bar owner has found an innovative solution.

Joseph “Hammond and Fries” Josephsson who owns the little known Deep Friars Bar & Grill told us about where he is planning to move to. “My bar is just a deck of wood and a shack so I got to thinking last night and realized that Shipwreck used to have a dock on plastic barrels. So I’ve put out the word that I need plastic barrels. I’m going to float my bar right off the coast here and their ain nuttin this ritzy hotel can do about it!”

“Everyone is going offshore these days, so why not Kittitians?”

To see some proposed designs, check out the pictures below.

Special Note

This is primarily a satire site. We occasionally take on serious issues in our non satire section and recently covered the true news story about the termination of the beach bars leases on short notice. Because sometimes people miss even the most lavish helping of satire, we want to be clear that while the evacuation order is true (we wish it were satire), but this article about relocation is just some satire comic relief.

In the Bahamas such a bar actually exists:

Other Possible Designs