Breaking News: LIAT to Resume Limited COVID Operations

More than half a dozen airlines world wide have offered what has been dubbed “flights to nowhere” for people with an itch to fly, literally to anywhere or even nowhere.

One airline even offered a flight to nowhere that didn’t even fly. Passengers simply went through the motions and even boarded and sat on a plane which never left the gate.

It is hard to believe that people can indeed miss the horrid experience that flying has become in the last decades, the horrible food, and the cramped seats. But somehow it is indeed true and there seems to be a real demand.

LIAT, a long time innovator in the field of aviation has responded in these dire times. Baston Grown who is overseeing LIAT’s COVID response has delighted in the response and spoke with us.

“I don’t know why it took COVID for other airlines to wake up and smell the bush tea. For decades LIAT offered flights to nowhere. LIAT regularly offered flights which were delayed by even up to 40 hours, and we got no credit. LIAT is a pioneer in this area, and we deserve the credit.” said Baston.

“LIAT at times even operated flights to everywhere with passengers who were booked for a single stop flight were rerouted through up to 5 different airports for the scenic tour of the Caribbean offering some of the world’s most boutique authentic 1960’s era airports.”

“LIAT even offered a service to special select customers of offering differing destinations for the passenger and their luggage. If a customer checked multiple bags, we even went so far as to offer multiple destinations for their baggage so that the customer and their baggage could enjoy more of the Caribbean instead of a single destination offered by other airlines. LIAT was a pioneer and I demand that credit be given.”

“We had recently announced the liquidation of LIAT because of COVID impacts, however with this new trend we can fully employ all LIAT personnel through this crisis. I have immediately dispatched our planes to various LIAT destinations and we will soon offer flights where you can go through security, wait in the lounge and then sit on a LIAT plane for hours at the gate. It will be almost like nothing changed and will let us get back to normal. At the end of your ‘flight’ you simply disembark and you are already back home.”

“You can still check luggage, and for a fully authentic experience we will still lose some of your luggage. There will be a fee for checked baggage. We want the experience to be fully LIAT authentic.”

“One additional bonus is that we are lifting the former restriction on emotional support peacocks. We encourage passengers to bring peacocks and other yard fowl. Since we are not actually flying, we will have an on board fete.”

Baston did not offer what these tickets might cost, but hinted that they would be much cheaper than previous LIAT tickets are there are no take off or landing fees to be incurred by the airline.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply