Minister of Public Works and Utilities Mr Potholes Luburd is promising double electricity for residents this year as he painted a picture of modern infrastructure under his term at a Town hall meeting in Cannes, France on Monday night.
“I am here to tell you that my term is perfect. I am the best Minister of Public Works and Utilities that St Kitts has ever seen or will ever see. Under my 5 years as minister we have made rebar great again, turned Cayon into a desert for weeks at a time, and made electricity so reliable that SKELEC is logging daily outages in our Federation. I ask you in the coming election to vote for me so I can continue this stellar record of perfection as Minister of Public Works and Utilities.”
“This December Harris has promised Public Servants Double Salary, and I’m here to match with voltage. This December not only public servants, but all residents will receive double voltage.”
Actual photo of voltage from SKELEC mains entering a customers home which lasted for approximately 45 minutes and started a fire in the customer’s house. Customer was awoken by a ceiling fan above his bed which was spinning so fast that it was about to take off on its own.