The ruling Unity coalition government in an effort to be more inclusive has created a new ministry and appointed an opposition member to be its Permanent Secretary. The new ministry is to be called The Office of Alternative Facts (OAF).
Speaking for Unity on this matter, John “The Typewriter” Kiburd who is the acting public relations officer intern for the new ministry said, “This is an outreach from Unity to be more inclusive of the opposition. We felt it was a role that they could fill with unparalleled qualifications. Keeping with that theme, we have appointed the absolutely most qualified person to the role of Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Alternative Facts – Denzil Douglas himself to be the Chief OAF.”
Mr. Kiburd continued, “We want to give them all the tools they need to continue and so we have allocated office space as well behind the air conditioner under the back stairs of the ZIZ broadcasting building.”
The Manchineel reached out to Dr. Douglas for a response. “Ain no way we gunna nevah nevah wuk wit Unity. Dey jus moomoo. But dey out moo-nuver me dis time cuz aye really am de best man for dis role. How can one tun such offur down? Aye gunna tek dare offuh. Aye always did haf a soff spot fur ZIZ an dis eez a foot in de door again fuh me. Sure it under de stairs, but fum dare maybe me can jack a broadcast by chewin on sum cables and pokin dem wid paypuh clips. Aye always did like taste uv rubbah, especially de red wire rubbah.” (Editor’s note: The Manchineel had trouble transcribing his speech, we have tried our best to transcribe it).