Boulder to be Granted Citizenship

Several boulders in various parts of Half Moon have been left to sit in the roadway and some have been left to sit for several years according to residents.

The Manchineel contacted PWD again about the situation and talked to John “Cashia Bush” Smuthson, Junior Weed Whacker Operator in Training and Public Relations Officer (JWWOTAPRO for short). Mr. Smuthson said, “Wat kinda chupitness dis be? First dey wan us fill the holes in the roads. Next dey wan us cut back bush so dat dare roads are more dan haffa lane wide. Now dey wan us move rocks fuh dem? What kindo mumu people dey got livin deir?” as he toked away on what he told us was an organic herb and that he needed because of a weed whacking injury. “Dem tings dangerous. Gotta keep dem away from private parts. But really, what you wan me do? Whack it wid me weed whacker? Ain gun do nuttin!”

Mr. Smuthson then referred us to John “Big Nutz” Johnson, Acting Junior Manager of Herbal Smokable Supplements for PWD who told us, “We have a plan. Residents of Half Moon just need to be patient. They need to understand that this is not some advanced country like Yemen. Things take time here and we don’t appreciate being pushed by residents. It takes 14 years of residence in St. Kitts & Nevis to become a citizen. In a few more years those boulders will become citizens and be full fledged residents and voters within the Half Moon community. In fact we are thinking to the future and by leaving large holes in the road the boulders can be relocated to cover those craters and serve as their homes.”