Denzil Douglas Promises Free Ponies

Seeking to entice voters to put Labour back into power in the next election, former Prime Minister Denzil Douglas has promised a free pony to every registered voter if elected again.

“Me muss get back in powah. Disunity dem scumbums, see wut dey do? If put me back in powah, every voter will get a pony! And Cheenaman run from Innerpole and dey protek him. If Labah wuz still in powah me wud Trump dat Cheenaman! I wud tell he, YOU FIRED! Den I would hire Idris Elba to extradite him. Problem fix! Disunity so sad! Sad bad sad.” said the former Prime Minister – or at least what that is what we heard as his jibberish is often incomprehensible to other humans.

Others asked if he would have accepted $190,000 to protect someone. The former PM declined to answer, but it seemed implied that he would not, if only because $190,000 was too low of an offer.

Update 5/12/17: Marcella Liburd has since reponded. See Douglas Promises Ponies, Marcella Responds with Unicorns

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