John “Luvdatsharpiessmell” Inkerton, Head of Writing Instrument Stocking for Harpers Office Supply today announced their generous donation to Rams Grocery chain.
“Harpers is a good corporate citizen and we strive to improve the communities in which we serve. For decades consumers have complained about lack of marked prices at Rams groceries to no effect. To help Rams we are donating a dozen Sharpies, some tape and card stock. We hope that Rams will begin to use these items which to them must be super high technology and allow Rams to enter the 17th century in pricing technology.”
Attempt at Pricing
John “Blue Cheese” Ramikan, Head of Rams “Meat” Department said, “We are very welcome of any assistance. We have tried to price our items over the last decades, but it has just proven to be too difficult to do without outside assistance. We are now looking to see if anyone can donate a few weeks of training for our staff to be able to learn how to use these high tech pricing devices.”
“Customers ask us all the time why we can’t get at least a 1950s style pricing gun, but its not that simple. Guns are severely restricted in The Federation and every time we’ve applied for gun permits for our staff the police have turned our applications down. Customers should blame RSCNPF, not Rams.”
“ValuMart may be the Low Price Leader, bur Rams is the No Price Leader. And TDC says where price matters most, but Rams says where no price matters most. If you have to ask how much something costs, maybe you should just pick up some ramen noodles. They aren’t priced either, but you know they will be cheap.”
A Rams customer on Friday was asked what he thought. “Criminal I tell you. They leave prices unmarked on purpose me thinks. Especially on high priced items. They hope you will get to the register and forget to ask. They even went so far a few years ago as to remove the price scanners that used to be in the aisles for customers. I’ve been asking management for decades about this problem, but they always just respond with indifference. Check out the cell phone video I captured last time I asked when they would put prices on their items.”