John “Blue Cheese” Ramikan, Head of Rams “Meat” Department said, “Rams wishes to announce that we are now hiring. Rams has been watching the gig economy of the likes of Uber and Lyft and decided that we too should take advantage of technology.”
“We recently received some high tech pricing instruments from Harpers and now Rams has a new app available in App Store and Google Play to allow people to help us start pricing things in our stores. We realized that partially because only about 10% of our items have marked prices (even less in diary and produce), husbands and dads were standing around waiting for ever for their families to complete their shopping. We thought about putting in a bar in the back of the Bird Rock store, but the smell from the warehouse when the door opened, combined with alcohol yielded less than desired results. Let’s just say there were a lot of cleanups in aisle 3.”
“With our smart phone app, those husbands, dads, as well as wives and mothers are free to check themselves in as ‘available to price’ and they can borrow a Sharpie and start pricing items. Such participants will be paid in Rams Bonus points usable towards groceries. In the spirit of Uber, our app is called Guber. Now anyone can be a Rams Guber too simply by installing and using our app.”
“If they finish all the pricing they can help us hunt that smell from the warehouse on Bay Road. We are announcing a bounty of $10 ECD to anyone who can find the source.”