New Dangerous Strain of Marijuana Found in St. Kitts

According to some residents a new very dangerous strain of marijuana has been discovered in St. Kitts. Apparently some students at the CFBC agricultural program have moved on beyond hydroponics and have been experimenting with gene splicing.

John “Mama’s Mongoose” Barris, one of St. Kitts Centenarians who resides in Conaree Heights explained, “I’m really glad to see that CFBC is keeping up with these high tech times. Given the size of our find Federation, CFBC really does an amazing job of educating students and preparing them for their careers.”

“Students will be students though and I’m sorry to say that some students have taken their studies a bit too far. The government has been merciless on eradicating marijuana plants from growing in our Federation and is even using drones to hunt for marijuana plants. This has made it hard on growers.”

“In response students wanted to increase the germination rate, hardiness, and growth rate of marijuana so the students attempted to gene splice marijuana with several tree species with limited success. Of note was the mangouarijana tree which produced a very interesting fruit, but unfortunately was very difficult to propagate because its extreme fragrance notified authorities miles away once it started flowering.”

“Later they turned their attention away from trees to invasive species to take advantage of high germination and hardiness and found the perfect match – whitgrass. Whitgrass when spliced even with weak ‘ditch weed’ becomes a hardy potent strain which is hard to control and stop. My kids have named the strain ‘Denzil Weed.'”

“Unfortunately the strain has now escaped into the wild and I am asking authorities to act with the zeal and speed that they do when marijuana is found to be growing in the hills. Move in fast and eradicate all of it.”

“Below is a picture I took in Half Moon of this new strain. Its growing so strongly that it is taking over the roads and even mashing up the pavement. Local residents worry soon that it will cover their houses.”

“While this may appear to be normal whitgrass, if you look closer you can see it is in fact Denzil Weed.”

“The residents of Half Moon and Conaree seek desperate action in the historic and first time ever clearing of many of their roads and bush by PWD to prevent the Federation wide spread of this very dangerous strain of marijuana.”

“They say to see something, say something. And we have. Repeatedly.”

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